感触 之二

我曾经有个梦想...
希望自己哪天可以成为一个无所不知的人...
天文、地理、传奇、历史、文学....
可是又不要很出名...
就做一个平凡到不能再平凡的人...

And now here I am...
A Scientist cum Engineer =)

虽然我很不喜欢自己的工作生活... 也已经给自己set好了时间，什么时候会离开...
但几个月下来的生活，还是让我体会到了这个部门到底有多少知识等待我去探索...
New Technology这个部门果然如其名... 从研发到Process Integration到Manufacturing都參一脚... 人头却只有那么几个...

跳一下...

很悲哀的说，终于是没有了感情的包袱...
接下来...
希望自己能够在预定的时间内，好好掌握这方面的技巧知识，然后趁年轻，往另一方面发展....
总之....
10年内要让自己懂得超级多的东西.... 至少在semiconductor field，做一个无所不知的神级工程师... (如果我没有转行的话)

=====================================================

All this while... I had been allowing myself to eat.. like, a lot?
Well I don't care... 自认不是外貌协会的一分子，自然也不怎样照顾自己的外观...

前提是...

不影响自己的健康....

I bear with all the consequences thus far...
My stamina drop like hell... I'm running slow like tortoise... etc etc...
And I never had dare myself to go for a medical check up this 2yrs... 都知道会在什么level的了... 多此一举...

终于终于...

It has reached a point where my health comes into concern...
昨天上course坐着维持同一个姿势，睡着了，半途知觉醒了过来，但就是没办法控制自己的身体....
I push crush smash my mind and my brain upside down... And finally I gain the control of my body back...
突破了一个threshold，把眼睛睁开了....
再，强逼自己动动麻痹了下半身... 通通血液....

10分钟后，终于身体都恢复了... 全身冒起了冷汗....
或许在导师眼中，余某只是钓钓鱼... but deep down inside，I've been struggling like hell... >"<
以前，身体从来不会这样fail我的......

深蓝联盟认识的一个忘年交给了余某一个简短的comment,
Perhaps, it's not all the physical sports food drinks burning midnight oil stuffy that cause you yourself stuck at this shape...
Perhaps... Deep down inside you... Perhaps, someone is refusing to tune and tone him back to best shape... For there may or may not be some obstacles that he couldn't get through even with the best of him...

I have been reviewing and reviewing... Me myself... Upside down... Inside out...
And yes.. I had had it enough...
我不想再让过去的噩梦一直缠绕着自己...

再极端点... 再极端点...

丢了$50报名...
我给自己半年时间...
如果没办法把体能好好调整回最佳状态，干脆就跑死掉算了! 不要苟且活下去成天躲在自己的乌云底下..
他妈的.... 丢人现眼....


-Shin- '14122010